The
intention of my blog isn't to go on just about the negatives or challenges of
Asperger's. I want to create a more rounded view showing the positives,
but there are some challenges you can't ignore and one of these is the very
reason I started this blog - misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings happen on a daily basis in
every walk of life, essentially it is a part of life. But you could
certainly argue that for people with Asperger's or autism misunderstandings happen on a
greater frequency, let's face it when you process and think differently to the
norm it is likely that this will be true. But it is not just the
misunderstanding that is the problem.
Generally where there is a misunderstanding,
whether it leads to confrontation or not, it can be corrected. Yes...sometimes the damage is already done but repair work can still be
started. In people with Asperger's sometimes this correction or repair is
extremely difficult because they might not have the skills to negotiate such a
situation. In my experience these situations are unbearable and
everything inside me fails to come out and I accept criticism or other negative
consequences when it is inaccurate or unjust. Either that or I end up feebly protesting to someone who is no longer listening.
Ok so that kind of covers misunderstandings as a result of an action. However misunderstandings go
much deeper than this, I suppose you could call them misassumptions. By
their very nature people with Asperger's or autism are misunderstood or subject to
misassumption. The way they present or appear from the outside can seem
strange or even intimidating in some cases. Such as the child acting out
terribly in the supermarket that someone may assume is just a really naughty
child when in fact that child is responding to a stimulus that upsets and
distresses them. Whether you know of a person's diagnosis or not there
are likely to be behaviours particularly the more direct behaviours like total,
brutal honesty that can make others feel uncomfortable.
Inevitably these misunderstandings are caused by
ignorance to the "problem" and maybe a little bit of something you
are not used to. Now I have no problem with people being ignorant to what
Asperger's is and in being able to recognise it - sometimes this is unavoidable
and it is impossible to walk around diagnosing everyone and having full or
partial knowledge on every condition known to man. People, as well, are
concerned with their own lives and what affects them and largely that is ok.
On the whole most people are open to learning about differences. The kind of
ignorance, however, that I do have a problem with is when people who are
informed of diagnosis and maybe information on how it affects you choose that
instead of being supportive or 'accepting but inactive' to take ignorance to a
new level by applying judgement and basically bitching about the way you are - because
you struggle to be social. When my actions are not harmless and to be in
these environments is difficult for me, and they know that, I find that
distasteful and hard to accept. You wouldn't trip a person on crutches so
why would you make an already uncomfortable social experience worse for someone
with Asperger's or autism? Just because they are not like you?
Of course the other side of the coin are the
misunderstandings about the rest of the world and other people that Aspies
make. We try very hard to fit in or adjust to a world that doesn't suit
us that well when really it is and should be perfectly fine for us to just be
ourselves. I hope that one day I won't need to explain my behaviours and
I will certainly never apologise for them just because I seem a little
different...
