22 July 2013

Who's bright idea was it to run a business???

Late 2011 I decided I wanted to change jobs and become a sport and remedial massage practitioner.  I considered all the difficult social related elements involved with sport massage and felt confident I could rise to the challenge.  Since my diagnosis I have almost been like the child who has just taken the stabiliser wheels off their bike and thinks it will be easy to ride without them, I've just flung myself into all the things I wanted to do.  Being diagnosed late I'd always worried about who I was and never really pursued anything I wanted to do, my diagnosis was the figurative green light that signalled it is ok, go ahead.  So I went through a year's worth of training to qualify as a sport and remedial massage practitioner in 2012.

At the end of 2012 and beginning of 2013 I began the task of preparing to be self employed running my own business.  Why I wasn't at all fazed by this back then I have no idea!  Just over half way through 2013 I'm thinking why did I have this idea to do something like this?!  For someone who finds most of the world quite hard to work out normally entering the world of business and networking feels as though I have been tied to a spinning top.  For me social media was great...until I had to start being social!

But it is not only that world and it was not only the sport massage knowledge I had to learn, I've also had to learn how the 'system' works, I have to learn how to market and sell myself and consider how my business runs so that I am compliant with legislation and following best practice.  So now I'm thinking I should have booked myself on more courses than just the clinical sport and remedial massage diploma I did.

Fortunately for me the local NAS have been supporting me although supporting into self employment is a new things for them too.  They have been able to help me to work things out, structure my business and help give direction to my weeks by helping me to prioritise what I need to do first.  The whole process has been hard and I also recognise that I probably make things more complicated with my perfectionism.  I am also lucky that my husband has many hidden talents and has been able to assist with design and technical elements I might have struggled with.

However anything worth having in life is hard.  If it was easy we would all do it and then there would be no value in it.  But I am not one to give up or give in - as much as I would sometimes like to.  I've learnt to be incredibly resourceful throughout my life growing up undiagnosed and I'm not prepared to fail without knowing that I have put every ounce of energy into what I'm doing.  And to be honest right now I am not even thinking about the possibility of failure, I have invested time and money into the dream of a career I love and I'm not doing badly.  Things are probably taking me longer because of the additional challenges that come along with having Asperger's Syndrome and some delays with accessing support but I'm confident I have the right support now, I'm excited about the future and perhaps a little impatient for it to all really kick off.  I know there will be many more challenges and twists in the road but I will learn to deal with those and become a better, more confident person for it.  I worry about my naivety, picking up on 'bad vibes' and also of being taken advantage of.

And the good news?  Since I started doing sport and remedial massage my social skills have dramatically improved.  I have a lot more confidence when speaking to people and I'm more tolerant of small talk and chit chat seeing it as 'part of the job'.  Sometimes I feel terribly awkward and uncomfortable, I have absolutely no idea how noticeable it is but I put it to one side.  A lot of my clients know I have Asperger's, I don't hide it but nor do I drop it in when they come for their first appointment.  I'm happy to talk about it but also don't feel I need to talk about it, just like with anything else in my life it is just another thing in my life but not one that will be a barrier to the life I want. 

For more information on my business you can check out my business website www.topformremedial.com, find my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TopFormSportsRemedialMassage or follow me on Twitter @TopFormSRM

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