Kickboxing & the BCKA

I have been kickboxing with the BCKA since I was 13 and its fair to say it is more to me than just my passion.  Now there are plenty of people who have a passion for kickboxing and also for other things and some of these people achieve great things in whatever their chosen passion happens to be.  However for me kickboxing is what has given my life meaning, purpose and structure over the last decade.

It's widely known that people with Asperger's often have some kind of special interest - this will be a subject they have intense fascination over whether it just be factual information they collect or something they are exceptionally gifted in, whichever they are so fascinated they can acquire great levels of expertise, proficiency and even genius in the subject.  They are able to dedicate great levels of concentration and focus on just that one thing.  I have never had any interest in surfing and won't pretend to know a lot about it but someone on my massage course last year mentioned this surfer, Clay Marzo and a documentary film made about him and suggested I had a look at it.  Clay Marzo has Asperger's Syndrome and he is an amazing surfer.  The documentary tells about his surfing and his experience of Asperger's Syndrome and I have included a clip below reviewing the film.  

“This movie will inspire people to live in the moment and to always take the time to look a little deeper. People are amazing and you never know what is behind their eyes,” – Strider Wasilewski (Quiksilver Surf Team Manager)

 

In the clip above where Clay says that for him being in the water is where he feels at home, I can honestly say that for me when I am fighting is when I feel completely relaxed.  Kickboxing is like my escape from the rest of the world and without it I am totally totally lost.  You see when I am around other people I can't relax fully, to integrate with others requires a lot of work and a lot of energy on my part, I also have some concentration problems and like to do everything to a perfectionist level so when I try to get normal day to day things done this too can be a struggle.  I look at it as having to put in extra effort to get things done and this can be really draining to keep up.  Then there is also the problem with stress.  I can't always recognise when I'm getting stressed and I don't know how to deal with my stress, other than to fight.  Kickboxing takes care of my stress and comes so naturally to me that it is a relief in a world where most things don't.

I have had periods over the last couple of years where I have been injured and unable to train.  When I am unable to train fully it kills me.  That statement might seem a bit melodramatic and it is true that any athlete or sports person would be severely irritable when faced with time on the sidelines but you put that with Asperger's and the effect is multiplied by 10, at least.  I am a nightmare to live when I can't train because it hurts me not to train, more than I could ever show anyone, its not a punishment it is torture.  I like to have a purpose to everything and with not training I don't feel as though I have one.  Training is not just part of my routine, my daily routine is built around my training and to lose some routine is not good for me but to lose the foundations of my routine is disastrous.  I become highly anxious, highly stressed and this is even worse if I can't exercise in any shape or form to help me manage these feelings.  In a matter of weeks I usually transform to someone who can't sleep, is extremely irritable and basically rude to other people because I simply can't deal with them.  

BCKA team at World Championships 2012

I worry about a future with no kickboxing or training as right now I simply couldn't contemplate a life without it.  Right now kickboxing is filling up a lot of my time with preparations for 2013's World Championships in six weeks.  I'm training hard with my team mates at the BCKA, as each day goes by we are becoming a stronger and stronger unit.  And as much as I love to fight and love the physical elements of kickboxing what has also been so crucial to my development and my confidence has been being part of this team.  At the BCKA I feel I am in a place where I belong and where I am valued for who I am and in my life there have not been many places where I have been able to say that.  I am lucky to have fantastic team mates who are very understanding and supportive of me and my coach Alex Barrowman who has given me so many amazing opportunities over the years and helped to shape me into the person and fighter I am today.  Thanks in part to Alex I am a fighter in every sense, I have an attitude to not give up and the belief in myself to achieve. Alex and the BCKA are family to me.

My coach Alex giving me advice before fighting in World Championships